It's official...

...I am now a full time mummy.

Actually, it's been official since last month when I took a deep breath & told my boss I wasn't coming back after my maternity leave, but I haven't had the chance to blog about it until now.

I haven't been this particular combo of super excited & completely terrified since I found out I was pregnant in the first place. On one hand, it's incredibly liberating. It's such a relief to not have to worry about finding great childcare / missing out on important stuff / re-learning my job - and I *love* knowing that I can spend the next couple of years just enjoying watching the little dude grow up.
But on the other side of the coin, I have no job. (Well, not a paying one anyway!)
It's the first time since I was 15 that I haven't had a job.
Eeek.

Don't get me wrong, the plan is not to be a 'lady of leisure' (ha! does that apply to any mummy??), I am actually hoping to be classing myself as a WAHM, or even a Mumpreneur very soon (balls in the air... plans forming!), as we do need for me to be bringing in *some* de niro.
It's a bit of a leap of faith, but it feels right. And very exciting.

So, if anyone hears of great opportunities to work from a home, point me in the right direction if you please!
Every little helps! :D

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Caution: Severe Slush Ahead

No, no, we haven't had another dollop of snow, I'm talking slush as in mushy gushy ♥ lurrrve ♥

You see, I am doing a little multi-tasking & getting all romantic, because a. Claire, over at The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, is holding a Valentines Carnival (because she might act tough, but she's a big sappy girl really ;) ), and b. I haven't made time to play over at Josie's Writing workshop in ages, but this week, option 3 is: Write a post on the theme of ’soul mates’. Do you believe in them? Have you found or lost yours? Or are you still looking?

So, without further ado, may I present a bit fat chunk of sun shining, birds tweeting, song in your heart, lovey dovey goodness. (Don't panic, normal service will resume soon!)

♥..................................................................................................................................♥

Do I believe in Soul Mates? Oh yes. I met mine nearly 13 years ago, and have never looked back.

Was it love at first sight? Actually, yes, I think it was.

We met, completely by chance, at a night club. I had no idea he even existed before that night, and now I can’t imagine life without him.

That first night, we just clicked. We spent four hours sitting outside under a big full moon, just talking, and freaking each other out with the amount of spooky coincidences and similarities there were between us.

In the previous year, we’d been at 3 of the same parties, 2 of the same gigs and both been to see the same play, on the same night, yet never even bumped into each other. It was almost like fate had been trying to throw us together, but had a bit of a rubbish aim… until then.

I had never felt so instantly comfortable with anyone before, ever. Believe it or not, I'm generally pretty shy around new people. Not with him though. It was like catching up with an old friend I hadn't seen in years. It was just a perfect fit from the start.

We moved in together after two weeks. How mental is that?
Our friends & families thought we were loopy, but we didn’t care. It felt right.

And it was. It still is :)

We have been through so much in the last 12 and a bit years.
Good stuff, not so good stuff, and some frankly amazing stuff.
We’ve travelled, we’ve explored, we’ve had adventures.
We’ve strolled along the beach together at sunset, and we’ve toddled along it at sunrise, after many an epic night out. (Tenerife, 2002, in particular, was a bit special!)
We’ve been wild & reckless, rocked out at more gigs & shows and bars & clubs than I can count and got up to allsorts of mischief.
We’ve done scary grown up stuff neither of us had contemplated before – like mortgages & joint bank accounts!
We’ve supported one another through anything and everything.
We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, and shared everything in between.

He makes me laugh a lot, and he knows exactly how to make me smile when I'm down.
He gets me.
He’s the only person who really knows everything there is to know about me.
He is my rock, my voice of reason, my partner in crime, and my best friend.
He’s also pretty easy on the eye, but don’t tell him I said that ;)

And of course now, he’s my baby’s Daddy!
The Little Dude is by far our biggest adventure yet, and I can’t imagine a better person to be enjoying it with. We are loving every second.

Sure, there have been hard bits, and I have no doubt there will be more in the future, but so long as we take it on together, I know it’ll be fine.

Because I do believe in soul mates, and I feel incredibly lucky to have found mine.

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He's been out as long as he was in!

By which of course, I mean, my little boy is NINE months old.  Yikes.

Actually, he was 9 months old last week, but as you more experienced mummys will know, 9 months is a delightful age where suddenly NOTHING is safe, and you can't turn your back for 5 seconds, or sit down for 3 without having to jump back up, fly across the room & run interference between your little darling & some form of impending doom.

It's certainly keeping me on my toes.

But, you know what? I'm loving it.  I really am.  When I was pregnant, my friend (who had 2 under 2 at the time), told me 'every stage you get to, you'll think it's the best yet' - and she was so right.  The 9 month mark is the most fun we've had so far, for sure. The nine best bits being:

1. Kisses. Okay, his technique needs work, in that he basically opens his gob & plants it on my face, but saying 'kiss for mummy?', definitely gets a reaction - and it makes me super gooey :)

2. Cuddles.  Real, proper, clings on for dear life cuddles.  They are THE BEST.

3. Talking. Or at least trying to. He has certainly found his voice, and is having a whole lot of fun exploring what he can do with it. So far we've had a lot of da da da's, a lot of DO which I'm sure is an attempt at dog, lots of gollygollygolly, and most recently, bobobobob.  I don't know who bob is, but the little dude seems to be a fan.  The first Mummy will be any day now... right?!

4. Playing.  All of a sudden, play time is so much more fun, so much more interactive, I'm loving it.  I build him block towers, he crashes them down, then trys to rebuild.  He loves to line his stacking cups up, upside down, so he can put smaller toys inside - that can last for hours.  And of course, the old faithful - peekaboo - oh how we love a game of peekaboo - never fails to make him chuckle away in delight :)

5. Stories - It seems to have happened overnight, but suddenly rather than books being just another something to gum, the little dude now loves to sit & listen to a story - pointing at the pictures, turning the pages - he loves anything of the 'touchy feely' variety, and The Very Hungry Caterpilar is proving to be an early favourite.

6. Clapping - my little man has officially nailed clapping, and it might just be the cutest thing I've ever seen.  He gets so excited & looks all pleased with himself. It's brilliant.

7. Food!  We've been baby-led-weaning since 6 months, and it's one of the best decisions we've made. (It should really have it's own post - *adds to list*) - The Daddy & I are both total foodies, and it seems to be running in the family - there is nothing the little monster won't eat!  I'm so proud of the variety of things he's tried, and how much he seems to enjoy munching his way through his tasty noms :)

8. Early attempts at toddling. I shed a little proud mummy tear the first day he pulled himself up onto his feet - little did I know what was coming next! He never stops. Just desperate to be on his feet - exploring - getting into *everything*. he scoots around so quickly in his walker, I doubt it'll be long before he's walking solo. Then I'm in trouble.

9. The mischief.  Much as he is exhausting me with his new found crawling, standing & wobbling skills, I just love watching his personality developing.  He is such a monkey - absolutely understands the word NO, but chooses just to grin and carry on with his mission of mayhem.  And I can't help grinning back.  I suppose I should work on that.

It's hard to believe this adventure only started 9 months ago.

What's scarier, is that in 3 months, I'll be telling you all about his first birthday. Gulp.

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Shiny Happy People

I've been a little bit down in the dumps the last few days.

Nothing awful, just a bit fed up, lots of little bits conspiring & ganging up & getting me down. I hate that. I am, as a rule, a chirpy, upbeat, cheerful sort of chick, and I annoy myself when I get in a funk. I've also completely lost my blogging mojo of late - lots of posts I want to do, but no time and/or motivation to make them happen.  I think it may be a case of too much going on + lack of focus + ongoing run down-ness = big chunk of Bleh. But I'm on it, I am.

So, thank goodness for the Shiny Happy People meme that's doing the rounds. It was started by the lovely Rosie Scribble, and I'm sure I've been tagged, but can't entirely remember who by, so I'll just get on with it...

The rules go:  Name a song that makes you happy – a song you would listen to if you needed a sudden injection of happiness. Post an image that makes you smile, it can be anything – a silly photo, an image taken from the internet, anything at all that puts a smile on your face (and isn’t too rude!)

So, first up, the song.  Oh this was hard.  Music is one of the big loves of my life, and I have A LOT of go-to songs for when I need cheering up. After much deliberation, I opted for this little beauty:



That's right, the eternally-awesome work of The Electric Light Orchestra.  I challenge anyone to listen to this GEM and not smile or tap a toe. If you don't, I fear you might be made at least partially of STONE!  ELO are  a favourite of the Little Dude too - I had a bit of a revival during my pregnancy, and now whenever he hears them, his eyes light up :) (same goes for the Guillemotts, The Arctic Monkeys, MGMT & Elbow - who would ALL get a place if I was allowed to pick my top TEN happy tunes.)  (Actually, I might add that to the list of posts I want to do.)

And a happy picture? Of course I could choose a photo of the little dude, or the daddy - those all make me smile, but instead, I'm opting for a favourite Loldog. (People are often surprised that icanhascheezburger is firmly in my favourites - presumably because I am a grammar snob and HATE txt spk {urg, felt dirty typing that :P}, but throw it together with insanely cute dogs & cats, and I freaking LOVE it.  Call it a guilty pleasure.)

So, Tah Da!:



How could anyone not catch the happy from this little mutt?!

Okay sure, it helps that I'm gaga for dogs in general, but really, the sheer joy in those eyes - the cheesey grin, the big wet nose - isn't he brilliant?!

This one was a close contender too:

I have a weakness for the shaggy cuteness of a little gremlin-like shih-tzu, being that it is my own mutt of choice.  She makes me smile too... most of the time.  She's actually in the proverbial dog house after contributing to the not so very fun parts of the last few days, but that's another story.  For the most part, I love my little hair ball, and she is mostly happy-enducing.  (And she is ever so good with the little dude, can't fault her for that.)

Highly reccomend a cheezburger visit to anyone feeling a bit blue - and if you're not a four-legged fan, there are funny people pictures too :)

As for the tagging - I think most people have done this already, but if you haven't, do!

Forget your troubles, get happy. You'll feel loads better for it. I do :)

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I love my boys...

So my lovely tweet-come-blog-come now actual real life friend Bec over at Beetroot and Gherkins (which if you don't read, you should, because it is brilliant), tagged me with the "Share your favourite photo" meme, and I've been procrastinating over it, because frankly, it's HARD!

I am a complete photo loony.  I LOVE them.  I always have a camera on me, I have a silly amount of pictures stashed on my laptop, several dozen cds, and many more albums. And I'm supposed to pick just ONE from the whole of all of time?? *brainmelt!*

But, I have done it. I have picked. Although I am going to add the disclaimer that it's *one* of my favourites. So as to not upset all it's little kodak friends.

So here is the lucky winner:



Most of you know I had a pretty horrible birth experience.  This picture was taken about an hour after I came round from the GA I had my c-section under. In all honestly, I barely remember taking it. (I'd been in labour for 14 hours and was under the influence of A LOT of drugs. I could have photographed an african elephant that morning and forgotten about it). The first time I really remember seeing it, LD was I think 4 days old, and I grabbed 5 minutes between feeds to download the pictures off my camera.  Soon as I saw this one, I promptly welled up & sat with a big goofy smile on my face, with big fat tears rolling down cheeks.  Hormonal tears.  Exhausted, sleep deprived tears.  Super proud new mummy tears.  Happy tears.  And not the resentful 'why didn't things go the way they should have done?' tears I'd been shedding here and there up until then. Because looking at this picture, all the details and the drama, just didn't seem to matter.  I had a beautiful baby boy, and an amazing man who'd been there with me every step of the way.  I had a family.

I still struggle with the memories of my labour & all that came with it.  I probably always will.  But this picture, and the real life versions of the boys in it, make it much, much easier to deal with.

I love those boys to pieces. I am super lucky, and super grateful to have them.  And I love this photo :)

As for tagging, you all know I'm rubish at that - I always pick people who've already done it, so I'll say Emma Jane, Josie, Claire, Nat & Sian, because I don't *think* they have, and anyone else who wants to share a favourite kodak moment - go right ahead! xx

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Snow Bored Now

I was excited when the snow started. 

Being a native Scot now living about as South as you can go, I miss it. I have fond memories of 'proper' winters with LOADS of soft fluffy snow to make angels in & have snowball fights with, and the simple pleasure of rolling a giant snowball to see just how big you could get it before it was too hard to roll anymore.  Fun stuff.  So yes, when the first few flurries hit, I was like a little girl all over again.  I wrapped the little dude up in his big chinky snow suit, took him out in the back garden, snapped the obligatory 'first snow' shot, all good fun.

Then a couple of days passed. No sign of a thaw. The soft fluffy snow drifts soon became rock hard ledges of doom. Where there were pavements, there are now 3 inch slabs of solid ice, which are no fun for feet, much less stroller wheels.  So now, it's rubbish.  The litle man & I haven't been able to get out & about since TUESDAY. Play dates have been cancelled, plans of fun stuff have been all messed up and we are officially getting a little bit stir crazy.  Well, I am.  The little man is more than happy with hours of trying to climb up, over, around and under anything and everything.  And Night Garden of course. There's always Night Garden.  I, on the other hand, feel a bit like I'm losing my tiny mind. 

I should use the time to play catch up with all those little bits and pieces I keep meaning to get round to, but of course I don't. Instead I play with my little monster, I make us lunch, I read stories.  And when he finally gives in to the occassional nap, rather than becoming a one-woman flurry of productivity, i drink tea & tweet about how annoying it is not being able to get anything done. Yes, I'm my own worst enemy, I know.

I really need to relocate my neurotic compulsion for writing lists & making the most of every useable minute of the day.  If you see it, give me a shout.

Tomorrow, I'll get some Things Done.  Really, I will.

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Hello Twenty Ten!

(Yes, I'm one of those hip & trendy young things who think twothousandandten is a bit of a mouthful. Humour me.)

First: The Little Dude & I would like to wish you all a very happy, if a little belated new year - hope 2010 is full of good times for one & all. Second: The mummy would like to apologise for December's distinct lack of activity - I totally underestimated the things to do : time needed to do them ratio, and ended up all over the place, making internet playtime intermittent at best. (Next year, I will be organised. You just watch me!!)

Festivities all over for another year though, normal service should hopefully be resumed as of... now.

Well, as much as possible, now that the LD is into everything having learned to pull himself up on the sofa (already?!), and gaining semi-crawling speed daily. Safe to say, he's keeping me on my toes! This last month, he seems to have been developing so quickly - first there was the finding of his feet - literally turned round one day to find him stood up holding onto the couch - I squealed in excitement. Then the next day came his first proper da da da, I welled up a little.  Then the next, he properly stacked 3 blocks on top of eachother - more luck than judgement maybe, but clearly I'm now convinced he's a child genius.

I've had a few of those emotional mummy moments over the festive period. Filling up his Christmas stocking, watching him rip open his presents (and of course pay much more attention to the paper than the gifts). Seeing him sat at the table waiting for turkey.  Looking all grown up. Sob!

The worst though, was Christmas night, after our guests had left, and the baby was sleeping (exhausted after a non-stop day!), the Daddy & I were cuddled up on the sofa, chilling wth a glass of vino, and I suddenly thought, 'This time last year, I was still a preggopot. That gorgeous little monster who'd been in at everything all day, was only half cooked!'  And I admit, I shed a little tear, sappy moo that I am.  It was a happy tear though. We had a fabulous time, and I can honestly say, I've never enjoyed a Christmas so much.

And it happened again on New Years - we stayed in, for the first time I can remember, and it was actually lovely!  The daddy & I have a geekish tradition of taking an at-arms-length-self-portrait at midnight (you know the ones, 2x half heads where you're grinning like loonies, eyes half shut because of the flash :P), and 2010 was no different, except this time, there were three faces filling the frame - all ready for a new year and all the goodies it has to offer.  Yep, there was another little happy mummy tear then.

It is scary how fast it's all going though. Eight and a half months, gone in the blink of an eye. If I hadn't taken so many photos, I'd wonder what we did with it.

My 'baby' is ONE in a few months. (Oh you know tears will be shed that day!)  Goodness only know what new skills & tricks he'll learn between now and then, or what He'll get into to make me fly across the room to run interference.  All I do know, is that I am loving this crazy ride, and can't wait to see what happens next.

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