setting the scene...

as i said in my first post, my little boy is actually 5 weeks old already, but for the sake of continuity (i'm a bit neurotic like that!), i wanted to share my 'story so far'. so, here we go...

my little dude, or LD , or the noodle (on account of his being all long & wriggly!), arrived on April 20th 2009. but let's rewind 9 months (41 weeks and 3 days actually - he kept me waiting!), and i'll give you the readers digest version of my pregnancy.

the daddy and I had decided, after much discussion, that we wanted to take the plunge. we wanted a baby. so, i stopped popping pills and started taking daily folic acid supplements instead :)
we didn't want to get all obsessed with the 'right' dates and all that stuff, so we just let down the defences (hahaha!), and carried on with the good stuff (:D).

in august 2008, i missed an important visit from mother nature - got myself a stick to wee on, and then got the doctor's confirmation that yep, we were having a baby!
we were absolutley over the moon, and spent the next few weeks just grinning at eachother like loonies :)

we were fit to burst after a week, so gave in and told a few close friends - the temptation to share the news with anyone who'd listen was immense, but we resisted and managed to wait till about 10 weeks to 'go public'.

that's when i felt really pregnant - saying the words out loud to people felt bizaare, but brilliant. everyone was so pleased for us - and i'm sure it was mostly hormone-induced, but it was a really special & emotional time :)

i was very lucky - hardly any morning sickness, no swelling, no headaches - just an unquenchable craving for anything cheesey!! i was really impatient waiting for my bump - it felt like i was at that 'just looking a bit chubby' stage for years - hated it!! but, just as everyone warned me it would, time went very quickly, and before i knew it, i was the size of a planet & having trouble getting off the sofa without help! i loved it though. i really bonded with my bump, as did the daddy, and of course it was lovely to have everyone tell me i was blossoming and blooming and glowing! (though i really didn't always believe them!!)
by the end, this was me & my bump:

that feels like years ago now!

i really did enjoy being pregnant though - i loved the midwife appointments, hearing baby's heartbeat, the scans (amazing!), shopping for baby goodies, antenatal classes, visiting the delivery suite - it was terrifying at times, but so exciting :)

admitidly though, i did get impatient at the end. i was convinced i was going to deliver on my due date. HA! not likely. a week & 3 days i spent eating spicey food, having lots of sex, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, taking hot baths, cold baths, long walks, short walks, bouncing on an exercise ball, you name it, i tried it - all for nothing!

finally, on Sunday afternoon, I felt a twinge. I remember thinking 'wow, if that was a contraction, this is going to be a doddle'. silly sily me!!
by 11pm, they were hurting, but manageable.
by 4am, I was screaming the house down & my man decided it was time to go to hospital.

my labour was NOT what I had planned.
the birth plan page in my notes was full of hope for a natural, calm, straightforward delivery. fate had other ideas.
by the time i got to hospital, i was 5cm dilated, my contractions were about 5 minutes apart, and i was getting very very vocal!
i got in the bath, i moved around the suite, i tried lying down, standing up, bending over, nothing was comfortable :( i ended up in the birthing pool (which i had sworn against!) for about 4 hours.
when i was re-examined, i was 6cm dilated.
ONE centimetre, in about 6 hours. i was exhausted, i was in agony, and I decided to cut my losses & accepted an epidural.
which failed.
what happened after that, to be honest, is a complete blur to me, but in short, every contraction I had was causing mine & baby's heartbeat to dip, so the doctor decided an emergency c-section was needed.
i remember feeling like i was in an episode of ER, there were doctors & nurses whizzing about all over the place, i was crying my eyes out, the daddy was trying (and failing) to keep me calm, it was incredibly traumatic, and I think I've probably blanked a lot of it out, basically though, it got so bad, that they wouldn't even let me be awake during the op, & the daddy wasn't allowed in the room.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up, feeling very dizzy, and the first thing I saw was my man, holding a tiny little baby. Our son.

It's still hard for me to talk about, but I do feel sort of 'conned' at not being able to deliver naturally, especially after working so hard. I hate that I didn't hear his first cry, and that his daddy didn't get to cut the cord. But, I have to make myself look at the bigger picture. It didn't happen the way I wanted it to, but the end result was the same - I have a gorgeous, healthy, baby boy.
And he's the best thing in the world :D

And there you have it.
April 20th, 09:35am, my little dude joined the world, weighing in at 6lb 16oz, and life would never be the same again.
And I couldn't be happier :D