Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Under (Self Inflicted) Pressure & The Gallery: Three

As the song goes, Three, is a magic number. I heartily agree.
This week's photo for The Gallery, features the three biggest loves of my life. The baby boy, watching The Daddy & The Puppy* having a run around in the park. 
It's not the best photo in the world, but I love it because it captures one of those perfect moments in a perfect day where I really understand the word family.  And it makes me happy.

I'm going to multi-task here, and mention Josie's writing workshop, where one of the prompts this week is 'What is making you feel under pressure right now'.  The answer to that, is me
I am my own worst critic, always have been. 
I'm also a neurotic loony with a tendency to overthink things and get all caught up in my own head.
I have a compulsive need to be super duper organised, always ready, always prepared, always ahead of the game.  Turns out, all that stuff is not so easy to accomplish with a little person who needs all of your attention all of the time on the scene. 

In turn, I beat myself up because the to do list never gets any shorter. 
I exhaust myself trying to squeeze as much productivity as possible into every single day. 
I want to get on with the hundred bits of decorating that need doing, I want to focus on & make a real go of my own business, I want to be the best mummy ever and take LD to allsorts of wonderful baby activities, I want to make lots of new mummy friends so that he has lots of little play mates, I want to de-clutter my wardrobe, I want to be a perfect little housewife & put a delicious feast on the table every night, I want to get rid of the last little bit of wobbly mummy tummy, I want to start painting again - I want to be able to chill out & relax while the little man naps without mentally listing the million and one things I still need to do.  
I have a boat load of dreams and ambitions and goals, and the trouble is, I want it all now, if not sooner.  I never was very good at patience.

But I'm learning. Being a mummy is definitely making me stop, or at least pause, and re-assess what's really important.
Yes, it does my head in that we're living in an un-finished mess of a house, but the little dude doesn't care. He has somewhere warm to sleep, food in his belly, and a mummy and daddy who love him to pieces. (And a stupid amount of toys.)  He's happy.

And I am too.  Because I am incredibly lucky.  I just need to remind myself now and again.  And I need to spend less time putting pressure on myself & fretting about what needs to be done, and more time at the park with my THREE favourites - my Man, my Baby, and my Dog.  My family.

(*The Puppy, is actually 4, but she's little, and bouncy, so we still call her The Puppy.)

Don't forget to go check out the rest of The Gallery at Tara's blog, and the rest of the Writing Workshop at Josie's.

Oooh, and while we're talking about family, a quick shout out to Bec over at Beetroot & Gherkins, whose gorgeous family is going to be getting bigger in the very near future - wishing you lots of love & luck miss - and sending *superfastandeasylabour* thoughts a go-go :) xxx

16 comments:

  1. Oh bless! thats a great photo! Love your buggy too ;)

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  2. Thank you :)

    (and Hayley, yep, we have a lot of love for our Stokke Xplory too!)

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  3. I love the story behind it too. :0)

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  4. aww, so lovely. Can't beat days in the park with the family. Just can't beat it.

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  5. thank you thank you - and Tara, nope - you can't - scary to think it won't be long before LD is out chasing the dog around too!!

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  6. I bet he's itching to get out of the buggy...won't be much longer :)
    Lovely photo and lovely weather!

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  7. Love a trip to the park in the sunshine, littledude looks like he is itching to be in on the action.

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  8. He really is - if it hadn't been so wet & muddy I'd have let him out to crawl about, but it was a bit squishy from all the rain the day before!

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  9. Big up to the Xplory love.......

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  10. Ahh you know we all seem to suffer from this internal critic. Mine is particularly overactive. I've learnt to cut him down to size by naming (and shaming!) him. I call my critic Boris. He's a man (cos most of my criticism is based around how useless I am, and how untalented blah blah..sort of things a man might say!), and he's old (had his time), and old fashioned ('be a good wifey!') and staid. He does not want to be seen above the parapet.
    I find that this works in getting perspective on my internal critic. If you were to name your critic who would they be?

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  11. that's a completely genius idea!
    I think mine is a chick, because she's a bitch. So, I am going to name her Suxanne after a snooty cow I used to go to college with. Who was also a bitch.
    Perfect. Now whenever Suzanne tries to get me down, I shall tell her to shut up & go away.
    Thank you!! :D

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  12. Lovely photo and great post. Very kindly, as one self critical Mum to another I say, give yourself a break, its ok to have a to do list. Whilst it means you are not getting everything done, it means you have things to work towards to. Life needs goals and momentum forward. Take joy in the small things, they are the bits that make it all worthwhile. And who REALLY needs a tidy closet? ;-)

    MD xx

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  13. Beautiful photo!

    I think so many of us can relate to that feeling of wanting to do better, but you sound like you are doing a very good job at focusing on what's important. I'm beginning to realise that the other stuff DOES come with time, if we're patient, and in the meantime we are best to be right where we are right now, enjoying being with our boys :)

    x

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  14. You're both right, of course!

    I'm doing better with the whole 'what's really important' bit, just need reminding now and then - and to tell the annoying lil neurotic voice in my head to pipe down!!

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