Thursday 23 July 2009

The controversy of boobies!

So as a new mummy, I can't help but keep up with the mountain of media coverage breast feeding has been attracting lately.

My first thought on the whole thing, is why is it all such a big deal?
Why do so many people who aren't even mothers, care so much about how those who DO have children, feed them?
(prime example - the breast feeding consultant who 'helpfully' manhandled my boobs in hospital, has no children, yet made it her mission to get me lactating like a jersey cow. go figure.)

Secondly, those who apparently find breast feeding in public 'offensive' or 'inappropriate'- what exactly is your problem please?
If you find it so terribly awful, here's a suggestion: don't look.
We are not doing it for attention, it's not a peep show (in my own experience, I'll use anything available - blankie, bib, babies head - to make sure I'm flashing as little boob as possible!), we're doing a job. Would you rather a hungry screaming baby interrupt your oh-so-civilised cappuccino & browse through the times? Thought not.

Thirdly, those of you out there who are so fiercely pro-breastfeeding you view formula as the devil's baby juice & mums who use it as unfit, selfish anti-mothers, how about sparing a though for those who can't breastfeed?
Oh I know I know, 'it's the most natural thing in the world', 'breast is best', blah blah blah, but as with most things in life, sometimes it just doesn't pan out.

And the last thing a new mum who can't, or has decided not to breast feed needs, is someone who doesn't matter judging her decision.

Because ultimately, that's what it's all about - each individual mother making her own choice. And it should be an informed choice - as my good friends cafe bebe & OMG Pregnant have been discussing, and it should be respected.

Personally, I always wanted to breastfeed. I didn't even think about it, just assumed it'd all fall into place.
WRONG!
My birth was traumatic.
Afterwards, I was exhausted, and the little dude was too.
We tried almost immediately, he wasn't interested.
A little later, the breastfeeding consultant came to visit, poked, prodded, and shoved my boob into the little dude's face, not happening.
A little later still, he woke up from a nap & I tried myself, he got there. I was full of joy. For about 7 seconds.
Oh my God it hurt.
Nobody had told me 'the most natural thing in the world' would make me want to swear like a sailor.
But I persisted. After a week of feeding on demand, often 2 hourly for an hour at a time, my boobs, and me were a mess.
The HV came round to weigh the little man, he had lost 14% of his body weight. I was distraught. I was so disheartened. I felt like a failure.
We had to take him back into hospital, he was weak & listless & just didn't have the energy to feed.
They gave him some formula through a tube (which utterly broke my heart) & encouraged me to express as much milk as I could, which went down too.
(NB: they lent me an electric breast pump - that did NOT help my painful boobs one bit. Imagine a hoover latched to your nips. Yeah, owch.)
Withing 48 hours, he was back at my boobs.
It was still killing me, but I was so relieved, I grinned & bared it.
The doctor's guessed that he may have been 'lazy feeding', I didn't care, it all semed to be fixed, we could take him home, I was happy.
A week later, still feeding on demand what felt like a thousand times a day (and night!) the HV weighed him again, he'd put on 3 ounces.
That was my lowest point.
HV suggested topping up with formula after every feed, and after she left, I reluctantly sent the daddy out to get a pot of Aptamil.
I cried for over an hour.
Within another week, we were officially combination-feeding - alternating one boob, one bottle through the day, and just boobs at night.
And we were all SO much happier for it.
The little dude started gaining weight beautifully, my boobs started healing, the daddy stopped having to watch me cry every time I fed.

Breast is best? No, this was much, MUCH better all round.

Now, 3 months on, it's about half & half. The little dude is happy, healthy & thriving - and seems to be slowly weaning himself off the boobies, which is good,I only ever wanted to breastfeed up until proper-food-weaning, as I personally believe that's long enough.
(But that's another story!)
And for the record, my son & I have bonded fantastically despite our bumpy road, so there goes that ridiculous formula = no bond with baby theory.

The best advice I can give to expectant mummies, is go with the flow, and expect the unexpected.
Give it a go, you might be one of the lucky ones - you & your baby will take to it like ducks to water & it'll be great - but, be prepared to have to work at it, you're both learning! And, in case it doesn't go according to plan, have bottle-feeding equipment on hand as a back up plan, and DO NOT beat yourself up about using it.

Those first few weeks are far too precious to waste on a boobs vs. bottles guilt trip - and as long as your little one is full, nourished, and happy, you're doing a great job, regardless of what you're using to do it :)

9 comments:

  1. Mrs OMG Pregnant23 July 2009 at 18:49

    Brilliant post. Love it. It's great to hear stories like yours, it really is. You know where I stand on it, I just feel for those who cant and then have pressure. It's not a great to start to motherhood or life is it? xxx

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  2. Mrs OMG Pregnant23 July 2009 at 18:53

    ps. Thanks for the shout out x

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  3. Brilliant post. One I wish I was brave enough to write x

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  4. miss leslieanne23 July 2009 at 21:07

    Thank you both :)

    Mrs OMG - you're totally welcome, happy to pimp great blogs :)

    & Sandy - It took me ages to click 'publish' on this, but it was actually quite good therapy to write it all down! x

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  5. Very similar story happened here, my boy self weaned around 4m to all formula. I'm still feeling guilty (he's 19m) but that's society! Breast is best! No for us. I wrote about it a while ago: http://allgrownup06.blogspot.com/2009/05/breastfeeding-pride.html

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  6. Thanks for the HIGHLIGHT Mrs...you are a better woman than me...I only lasted the 2 days after Little Miss' birth. Well done you! :) And congrats on writing this...we shouldn't be ashamed!
    Karin

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  7. These are the posts I like to read. I am going to try but I have everything here to feed my little man with formula if I need to. I want to enjoy my time with him. (If he ever comes OUT!)

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  8. Good for you, I'm glad you found a way for it to work.

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  9. miss leslieanne29 July 2009 at 22:32

    Thanks for all your comments :)

    It's reassuring to know there are other mums out there who don't think formula is a dirty word!!

    ANd Dancinfairy - you are *so* right. Every day is precios, and they whizz by scary fast - ENJOY!!

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